Humberto Carolo: Thursdays in Black Will “Break the Silence”

1. What do you see as the main challenges and opportunities for addressing gender-based violence, including violence against men and boys?

Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to participate in this campaign and have this dialogue with you. First and foremost, we have to realize that gender-based violence is a result of centuries of patriarchy and systemic discrimination against women in particular. We live in a society that is filled with harmful norms, practices, stereotypes that are deeply engrained in our live homes, communities, workplaces, institutions, and culture. It’s going to take some time to change this around because we are talking about significant cultural and behavioral changes.

We know that gender-based violence is rooted in power, control, dominance, and privilege. And in particular, we often don’t realize that we are exerting that power and privilege and so it is challenging from preventing it from happening in the first place, especially in our workplaces and institutions when men aren’t even aware that they are exerting that control and dominance.

Gender-based violence is often seen as a private matter – something that is to be addressed between the couple or individuals involved. So there’s a great deal of silence and taboo associate with gender-based violence. And that presents significant challenges.

Men and boys who don’t fit the traditional mold of masculinity experience a great deal of violence too, predominantly at the hands of other men. Absolutely men, boys, children in their early years experience violence such as sexual violence, rape, child abuse, and neglect. And we must not forget that this form of violence happens within that broader challenge and system of gender discrimination and patriarchy, which impacts men as well. Although, the disproportionate impact is on women and girls in vulnerable populations.

Masculinity is also constructed within those confines and traditional and strict norms. Men and boys end up growing up being socialized into these molds that often aren’t healthy for others around them and definitely aren’t healthy for them as well. These molds tell us that we need to always be strong, to contain our emotions, to avoid crying, to not seek help because they aren’t signs of being a “real man.” We have to remove and challenge these stereotypes because they only sow a culture of violence, and they aren’t good for our health.

We need to break the silence and treat gender-based violence as a human rights, public safety, and faith issue for leaders to prevent and end. In the end, gender equality is good for all of us, but it is going to take some time and resolve and a great deal of commitment from all of us, but in particular men and boys if we are going to make a difference.

2. Do you have any specific guidance or recommendations for religious leaders and communities to address gender-based violence?

Faith leaders, communities, institutions, in particular, male faith leaders play an important role in this area. Our call is for male faith leaders to act as allied partners, transformative changemakers to ensure that they are part of the solution rather than the problem. So leaders have an important opportunity, responsibility, and obligation to engage with each other, their followers, their congregations, places of worships, communities where they live to practice their faith to break the silence, shed light on these issues, to encourage other men in the community to behave in an equitable, safe and inclusive ways. So male faith leaders have an important role to play because this silence needs to be broken. Leaders must also think about how they themselves can redress centuries of gender-based discrimination, exclusion, abuse, and violence within faith institutions themselves, including in the communities where those institutions exist. We need to move forward with a greater commitment to redress what has happened in the past and to create futures that are more gender-equitable, safer, and inclusive in particular for women and vulnerable groups.

3. What does Thursdays in Back mean to you? 

Thursdays in Black is an opportunity for all of us to speak out against gender-based violence and sexual violence and harassment. It is about breaking the silence on a topic that has been kept for too long in the private domain. It’s about committing to a future where men, women, and people of all genders live free from harmful gender norms and stereotypes, gender inequality, and all forms of gender-based violence. It’s about adopting gender-equitable principles, including the White Ribbon Pledge to never commit, condone, or remain silent about all forms of gender-based violence and discrimination.